uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
