I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
