the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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