and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
