babies were throwing up all over the place
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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