It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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