Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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