I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
