In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
