You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize