i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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