ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
