doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
