so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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