It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
