I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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