theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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