My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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