I just cut my nipple shaving
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize