Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
