she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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