honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
