I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Randomize
