Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
