summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
