that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
