There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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