Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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