I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
