this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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