so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
