I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize