god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
