Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
