So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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