he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
