He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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