after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
