we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
