just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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