Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
