And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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