I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
