They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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