Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
