It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
