WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
