So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
