Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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