Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
