he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My day in three words: secret purse cake
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
