i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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