I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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