I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
