He kissed a someone with a penis
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
