Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
