Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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