Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
