Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize