if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
