if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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