I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
