I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
