yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize