i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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