My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
