i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
