that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
