Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize