Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
