think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
