the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
