i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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