My brain says no but my pants say off.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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