belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I need to wash the frat house off of me
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
soo... how was my night?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
