he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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